I’m in a pickle and I need to get my thoughts out and a diary just isn’t cutting it. I appreciate commentary, critical or commentative. That’s just a risk of posting on the internet.
I think I am a little addicted to attention. I have a terrible habit of befriending my exes and then being too kind to them and then they take that kindness for “hey, this means I can get in your pants now,” or something like that.
Last night, I was hanging out with one of said exes. We’ll call him Ex No.1 because he was actually the first boyfriend I ever had. No.1 and I were getting along really well recently, and on a whim I asked him if he wanted to go and grab food. He agreed and we got together. Everything was fine and dandy in the ripe hour of 2AM and we drove around and whatever, normal hanging out stuff, then when I go to drop him off, he tries to kiss me;
Now, I thoroughly believe that the feeling of rejecting someone is just as bad as the feeling of being rejected. I rejected No. 1 so hard, and SO awkwardly, that I feel chest pain even thinking about it.
He’s not a bad dude, in fact, I think he’s really cool. Well, beside the fact that he looked at me like I was crazy when I said: “No. 1, what’re you doing? No, stop, why are you trying to kiss me?”
I’m really upset, because I was excited to have him as a friend after all of these years. Yes, YEARS. We hadn’t hung out in years, and this happens. I have a feeling he’s not going to want to be my friend anymore, and it sucks, because I’m lacking those as of late.
Anyway, that’s the pickle, and it tastes oh so sour!
Silly Little Thoughts 